Pick Ups. "Just So You Know."

Like most wannabe Europeans, I frequent a local bar where I go to drink wine, smoke cigarettes and feel fancy. I mean this is why I moved here from North America, right? Living the dream, yeah. I Fancy Myself Looking All Lykke Li. It happens like this. I enter the bar and the staff yells out my name in greeting. They already know my “usual” and walk over with a glass of white wine in hand and shower me with hugs and kisses. It all goes down like a scene from Cheers whenever Norm walked into the pub. I am the female equivalent of Norm. Fuck! As usual, I scope out the bar for...